Talking to Your Child About Their Upcoming Psychological Assessment: A Step-by-Step Guide

When your child is scheduled for a psychological assessment, it can feel like a daunting process, not just for your child but for the entire family. It’s important to approach the situation in a way that makes your child feel supported and understood. Some parents prefer to avoid using terms like “test” or “testing,” while others find these words helpful in explaining the process. Whether you choose to use the “t” word or not, the key is to make sure your child knows that this assessment is about all of us working together to support them better. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you have this conversation, tailored to your family’s comfort level.

Step 1: Educate Yourself First

Before you talk to your child, it’s important to understand what a psychological or neuropsychological assessment involves. This process helps us—you as parents, teachers, and other important adults—understand your child’s strengths and areas where they might need extra support. The assessment might include interviews, activities, and observations that give everyone a better picture of how your child thinks, feels, and learns.

When you understand the process, you can explain it in a way that fits your family’s approach, focusing on the benefits and the collaborative effort involved.

Step 2: Choose the Right Time and Place

Choose a time when your child is relaxed and not distracted by other activities. A quiet, comfortable place where you can talk without interruptions is ideal. This might be during a calm moment at home, like when you’re hanging out together or during a meal.

Step 3: Use Simple and Clear Language

When you start the conversation, use language that your child can easily understand and is at their “age level.” You might say, “We’re going to meet with someone who will help us learn more about how we can support you. They might ask some questions and do some activities with you to see what we can do to help you feel your best.”

By keeping the focus on how the assessment will help us as parents, the school, etc., do things better or differently to support them, you can help your child feel more comfortable and less pressured. In our opinion, this is a better way to approach the assessment than something like “We’re trying to find out what’s wrong with you or why you’re having so many problems.” One of the goals of the assessment is also to find out what’s going right with your child and to discover their wonderful strengths and qualities.

Step 4: Address Their Feelings and Concerns

Give your child the chance to express how they feel about the upcoming assessment. They might feel nervous, curious, or unsure. Let them know that it’s okay to have these feelings and that you’re there to support them.

You could say, “It’s normal to feel a little nervous about meeting someone new, but remember, this is all about helping us understand what we can do to make things better or easier for you.” Encourage your child to ask questions and be open about their concerns.

Step 5: Emphasize the Positive for the Whole Family

Reassure your child that the assessment is a positive experience for everyone involved. Emphasize that the purpose is to help us—parents, the school, and others—understand how we can best support them. You might say, “This is going to help us figure out how we can all work together to make sure you’re happy and doing well.”

By focusing on how the assessment will benefit everyone, not just your child, you can help them feel more at ease and part of a team effort.

Step 6: Rehearse What Will Happen

Give your child a clear idea of what to expect during the assessment. You might say, “We’ll go to an office where we’ll meet with a nice person who will talk with you and do some activities, like puzzles or drawing, to help us learn more about how we can help you.”

Describing the process in a way that matches your family’s approach can help demystify the experience and make it feel less intimidating.

Step 7: Be Supportive and Encouraging

On the day of the assessment, continue to provide reassurance and support. Remind your child that this is about us learning how to help them better. A simple, “We’re proud of you for doing this. We’re all working together to make things better,” can go a long way in boosting their confidence. The only thing they need to do is try their best and the day will be a success.

After the assessment, make sure to praise your child for their efforts, regardless of how the day went. Let them know that you’re proud of them and thank them for participating in the evaluation.

Step 8: Follow Up After the Assessment

Once the assessment is complete, your psychologist will discuss the results with you during the feedback appointment. When you share this information with your child, explain it in a way they can understand. You might say, “The doctor learned some things that will help us figure out how we can make things better for you at school and at home.”

Reiterate that the assessment was a step toward helping everyone involved support them better.

Conclusion

Talking to your child about their upcoming psychological assessment can be a positive experience when approached with care. This process is also about learning what questions they might have about themselves. The most important thing is to emphasize that this process is about us—the parents, the school, and other important adults—learning how to support your child better. By tailoring the conversation to your family’s preferences, you can help your child feel more comfortable and less pressured. Remember, your approach can make a significant difference in how your child perceives and handles the experience. With your guidance, your child can approach the assessment with confidence. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to your psychologist.