How Parents Can Talk to Kids About the Eaton Canyon, Palisades, and Greater Los Angeles Wildfires
At Huntington Psychological Services in Pasadena, CA, we understand the profound challenge parents face when navigating difficult conversations with their children. The recent wildfires in Eaton Canyon, Pacific Palisades, and across the Greater Los Angeles area have brought fear, uncertainty, and loss to the doorsteps of many families. As members of this community, we have experienced the impact firsthand.
Children are uniquely vulnerable during such events. They may hear about the fires from friends, see alarming images on the news or social media, or even witness the smoke and destruction themselves. Research consistently shows that exposure to natural disasters can place children at significant risk for emotional and psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress (PTSD).
These experiences can feel overwhelming, but as a parent, you are the most important buffer against the long-term effects of trauma. Your guidance can help your child process their emotions, understand the event, and regain a crucial sense of safety. Here is an evidence-based guide on how to talk to your children about the wildfires in a way that is supportive and developmentally appropriate.
Create a Safe Space and Start the Conversation
Children often take their emotional cues from their parents. Before you talk to them, take a moment to manage your own anxiety. Find a calm, quiet time when you can give your child your full attention, such as during dinner or before bed.
It's better to be proactive than to wait for them to bring it up. Begin by asking open-ended questions to gauge what they already know and how they are feeling.
"What have you heard about the fires happening in our area?"
"Some of your friends might be talking about it. What are they saying?"
"How are you feeling about everything that’s been happening?"
Listen without judgment. The goal is to open a door for communication, letting them know that all questions are okay and all feelings are valid.
Explain in Simple, Honest, and Age-Appropriate Terms
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) emphasizes tailoring information to a child's developmental level. Avoid overwhelming jargon or graphic details.
For Preschoolers (Ages 3-5): Use simple, concrete language. Focus on reassurance and the actions of helpers. They may engage in "magical thinking" and worry they somehow caused the event.
Example: "A fire started in the canyon, and it's a big one. Very brave firefighters are working hard to put it out. Our home is safe, and we are all together and safe."
For School-Aged Children (Ages 6-12): This group can understand more complex cause-and-effect but may harbor specific fears or misinformation. Provide clear facts and focus on safety plans.
Example: "The fire was likely caused by the very dry weather and wind. Firefighters are creating barriers to stop it from spreading. Our family has an emergency plan, and we know exactly what to do to stay safe. Do you have any questions about our plan?"
For Teenagers (Ages 13+): They can process more abstract information and may have concerns about larger issues like climate change, community loss, and the future. Engage in a more detailed, collaborative conversation.
Example: "You've seen how serious these fires are. It's understandable to feel angry or worried about the impact on our community and the environment. Let's talk about what we're seeing on the news and what our family can do to be prepared and maybe even help others."
Reassure Them of Their Safety and Reinforce Routines
A disaster shatters a child's sense of predictability and security. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a primary goal after a traumatic event is to re-establish a sense of safety.
Explain Safety Measures: Clearly describe the steps being taken by professionals and your family to ensure their protection. This helps counteract feelings of helplessness. "The firefighters have the best equipment to fight the fire. We have cleared the brush around our house and have our emergency kit ready. The adults are in charge of safety."
Return to Routines: As soon as it is safe, return to familiar routines like regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and school schedules. Routines are powerful anchors that signal stability and normalcy in a chaotic time. 😌
Validate Their Feelings
Acknowledge and name the emotions your child might be experiencing. Let them know it is normal to feel scared, sad, confused, or angry. Parental validation of feelings can mitigate the negative psychological impact of trauma on children.
You might say, “It makes sense that you feel scared. Seeing smoke like that is very frightening.” Or, “I understand you feel sad for the people who had to leave their homes. I feel sad, too.” Be aware that some children, especially younger ones, may not show distress immediately. That’s okay, too. Let them process at their own pace.
Limit Exposure to Distressing Media
The American Psychological Association (APA) warns that repeated exposure to traumatic images through media can lead to vicarious trauma and heighten anxiety, especially in children.
Turn off the 24/7 news coverage. Constant, looping images of flames and destruction are not helpful.
For older children and teens on social media, have a conversation about the content they are seeing. Co-view if possible, and encourage them to take breaks from scrolling.
Replace media time with calming activities that promote connection and comfort, such as reading a book together, playing a board game, or drawing. 🎨
Empower Them to Help
Taking positive action can provide a powerful sense of agency and counter feelings of helplessness. This fosters resilience and empathy.
Younger children can draw thank-you cards for firefighters or first responders.
Older children can help assemble an emergency kit for the family or pets.
Teens might participate in community fundraisers, help collect donations for displaced families, or volunteer for cleanup efforts when it is safe to do so.
Watch for Signs of Ongoing Stress
Be aware that the stress from a wildfire can manifest in various ways, and symptoms may appear weeks or months later. Common signs include:
Preschoolers: Returning to behaviors like thumb-sucking or bedwetting; increased clinginess; fear of the dark.
School-Aged Children: Difficulty sleeping or nightmares; trouble concentrating at school; physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches; irritability or angry outbursts.
Teenagers: Withdrawal from friends and family; changes in appetite or sleep; increased risk-taking behavior; expressions of hopelessness.
If you notice these signs persisting for more than a few weeks and interfering with daily life, it is a sign that additional support may be needed.
Model Calm and Healthy Coping
Children absorb and reflect their parents’ emotional states. By demonstrating healthy coping strategies, you teach them that difficult experiences can be managed. Talk about your own feelings in a calm way ("I'm feeling a little worried, so I'm going to take a few deep breaths") and prioritize your own self-care. Your calm resilience is their best source of security.
Final Thoughts: Moving Forward with Hope and Resilience
Talking to your children about the wildfires is a difficult but essential conversation. It is an opportunity to strengthen your bond and build their emotional resilience for the future.
At Huntington Psychological Services, alongside many other mental health providers in the Pasadena and Greater Los Angeles area, we are committed to supporting families affected by these fires. Many of us are offering free or low-cost emergency counseling services to those impacted. If you are concerned about how you or your child are coping, please do not hesitate to reach out at office@huntingtonpsych.com. Together, we can navigate this challenging time and move forward with strength and hope.
For Further Reading and Support
Here are the resources referenced in this article.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
Talking to Children About Disasters: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Pages/Talking-to-Children-About-Disasters.aspx
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
Helping Children Cope with Emergencies: https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/disasters/wildfire-resources
The American Psychological Association (APA)
How to talk to children about difficult news: https://www.apa.org/topics/journalism-facts/talking-children-news